dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're my little dorito
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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