Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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