Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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