If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
