she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
