please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Randomize
