where am i from again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize