dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
