3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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