wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
