I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
