hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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