It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
