I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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