Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
