Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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