Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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