I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
