Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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