So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
