U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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