Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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