You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
