we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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