My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
