I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize