Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
