i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
