Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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