Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
