I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
