You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
