I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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