Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

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(408): View more from California

I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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(907): View more from Alaska

I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.

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(647): View more from Ontario

The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads

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