I wannas sexs uuuuu
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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