I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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