last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
