you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
