I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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