My hand turned me down
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
