woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
