Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
