it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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