Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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