Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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