i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
