yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
