She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
