Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize