just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
