Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
