Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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