When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
