you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
