Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
