I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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