i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
