The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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