spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
