You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We're facebook friends in real life
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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