he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize